sad children hugging his motherFor divorcing parents in Illinois, one of the most distressing and complicated issues that must be dealt with is how to tell the kids. Many divorce lawyers Chicago have seen the negative results that can come from parents who wait too long to tell their children about the divorce, leave out important information or simply ignore the process altogether. Most experts agree that divorce will have an impact on children, but the way that parents approach the subject and explain what is going on may improve the way that children react.

1. Work together and plan ahead

While many people who are splitting up may have a hard time collaborating, it is important to show a united front when explaining a divorce to children of all ages. Both parents do not need to speak, but both should be present and willing to participate. Planning the discussion together beforehand can help parents anticipate how they will answer some of the questions that may come up.

2. Stick to the basics

Talking about a divorce to children should not be like talking with divorce lawyers in Chicago. Most young children do not understand the language surrounding divorce cases, such as child custody, divorce settlements and other legal terms. Simple facts that give children the basics surrounding their parents’ divorce are enough information to aid in understanding.

3. Avoid blame

The reasons behind a divorce can be complex and difficult for adults to handle. Even if one parent is at fault, blame should be avoided when telling the children. Neutral language that explains the changes that are going on, rather than going into the details of why the parents are choosing to divorce, is often more helpful and less damaging for children. Many kids view themselves as an extension of their parents, so placing blame can seem like a put-down to a child.

4. Focus on normalcy

There are a lot of changes that children will face as their parents’ marriage comes to an end, and it can be hard to deal with so much adjustment. Rather than talking about visitation or other issues that may be scary, focus on the things that will stay the same. Expressing love and commitment to a child is much easier for them to understand and accept.

Speaking with a child about a divorce is never easy, but doing so in a way that is well thought out can be effective in helping with the transitions that are inevitable. Many divorce lawyers in Chicago can provide guidance and advice for holding a successful discussion with children.